Everyone acknowledges
the “emotional rollercoaster” that is infertility. You deal with it every month
in another cycle that did not work, and then you wait every year as your peers
have their children and you are still childless. The burden of hope, the
financial decisions that need to be made about treatments, the choices of
clinics, dealing with what everyone else says… it never ends. All in all, it
becomes very easy to become derailed emotionally from who you want to be when
it feels like you’re never going to get there.
Emotional Freedom
Technique (EFT) is like acupuncture without the needles. You tap on certain
meridians while saying affirmations.
The real beauty about
this technique is that its starting point is in self-acceptance. I believe that
only in truly accepting the place that we find ourselves in, do we have a
chance of moving forward. This was further brought home to me while reading this post. A study was done where subjects were either
told that they would have a colostomy bag for a limited time, or forever. Guess who was happier?
The ones that accepted it would be there forever. So for us, accepting
infertility and all the good things in the present is a lot more healthy than
pining away for an uncertain future.
EFT
begins with the setup (example) statement: “Even though I fear I will never
have a baby, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”. You say this
three times, while tapping on the sore spot or Karate Chop point. (To see more
pictures of the points please go to my site here).
You then
tap on a series of points and say a reminder phrase:
Top of
the head: “So much fear I’ll never have a baby.”
Top of
eyebrow: “All my friends have babies.”
Side of
eye: “I’m so sick of waiting for mine.”
Under
eye: “Tired of waiting.”
Under
nose: “Worn out and losing hope.”
Chin:
“Feeling despair and sadness.”
Collarbone:
“When will it be my turn?”
Under
arm: “I want my bundle of joy.”
Now
switch it over to positive choice:
Tap on
the Karate Chop point on the side of your hand: “Even though I feel like I
never will have a child, I’m choosing to love and accept what will happen. Even
though sometimes I feel hopeless that we will never have a family, I’m choosing
to have faith that things will work out. Even though I lose my faith sometimes,
I’m choosing to focus on the good things in my life right now, and believe I
will be a mom someday.”
Top of
the head: “I’m appreciating my husband.”
Top of
the eyebrow: “I’m grateful for my dogs.”
Side of
eye: “I’m grateful I have time to do things that I want.”
Under
eye: “I know there’s a greater plan at work here beyond my human comprehension.”
Under
nose: “I know things are going to work out.”
Chin: “I
have faith that somehow, it whatever form, we will be a family.”
Collarbone:
“It’s not necessary when and how I imagined it would be, but it will be the way
that works for us.”
Under
arm: “I’m accepting what is now so that the future will take care of itself.”
Finish
off by doing an alternate tap, which means we will acknowledge both the
positive and negative in the situation.
Top of
the head: “Hopeless.”
Top of
eyebrow: “Hopeful.”
Side of
eye: “Sad and despairing of the future.”
Under
eye: “Focused on the present joy.”
Under
nose: “Depressed.”
Chin:
“Uplifted.”
Collarbone:
“Scared.”
I hope
that was useful for dealing with just a portion of some of the emotions
infertility can bring up. Please visit my blog at http://onestepatatime.co.za for more resources and check out my very
cute son!
