National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan established October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, with October 15th specifically set aside for a remembrance day.  He said, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, the are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn't a word to describe them.  This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United states and around the world.  It is also mean to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDs and other causes."

I read this statement on http://www.october15th.com/.  It really resonated with me.  It's so true. There is no title for a mother or father that has lost a child.  In fact, if the couple has no surviving children, most of the time they wouldn't even be considered a parent by many people, especially in the case of a miscarriage.  How terribly wrong.  Losing a child is a pain that is beyond compare.  It goes against nature, against how things SHOULD be.  A parent should never have to bury their child, they should never know the pain of living without them.  Maybe it's silly to say, we all know it happens all the time.  But you would think that an awful thing like this would at least have a name.

In October, the online community of those effected by pregnancy and infant loss comes together to recognize all the babies we have lost.  Whether lost only a few days after conception or after several months of life, we remember our lost babies. 

This October I remember the baby I lost far too soon.  The baby I'd wanted so badly, gone almost before I knew I had it.  I grieve for what might have been.  I wonder if my baby was a boy or a girl, what he or she would have been like. 

I also grieve for my mother's first child, the sister I never met, who died at only five months. 

I grieve for every mother and father that has lost a child.  There are far too many of us. 

Throughout the month of October, our contributors will share their stories of loss on this blog.  I would like to invite all of our readers to do the same.  You can submit your stories via our contact form, or send an email to askaninfertile at yahoo dot com and I will post them here.  You can chose to remain anonymous if you would prefer. 

At 7:00 pm on October 15, candles will be lit around the world in remembrance of our lost children.  Let's share our stories.  We can honor all of the angels gone too soon.